Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
