I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
