Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Cereal_CMB hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.

Fav 19 875 2738
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...

Fav 42 1260 6761
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.

Fav 24 1257 6522
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.

Fav 9 1936 4649
share tweet
(918): View more from Oklahoma

He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.

Fav 16 1525 3232
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines

Fav 9 3236 1500
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(857): View more from Massachusetts

Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.

Fav 5 2596 1333
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!

Fav 1 412 176
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"

Fav 0 26 40
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT