And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude i'm inner monologue high
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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