threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
