I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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