i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
