If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
