Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize