But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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