I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
