Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
