im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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