I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
where am i from again
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
