you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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