I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
