in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
