david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
