I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
