All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
