it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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