I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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