So drunk its hurt
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
