please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
