I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
