I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
