Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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