What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
