to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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