i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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