thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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