He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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