why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
