I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
