she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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