I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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