Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You ruined the universe
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
