You really coming over, don't trick.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
