Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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