you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
