Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
