OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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