dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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