the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
