so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize