Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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