Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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