and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
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I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
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About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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