Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
