Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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