I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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