I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize