Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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