we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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