Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
