There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
