FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
