Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I AM VODKA MAN
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
