Your tits are I can't wait for
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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