honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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