Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
