Me too!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
