I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
