Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
